My first time taking a group exercise class was last November, when I walked into Beer City Barre. I have never Zumba’d, yoga’d, pilate-fied, cross-fitted, kick boxed, or Aqua Fit For Senior Citizen’d. Although straight up: I have been VERY tempted to just jump into the water with all the grandmas and their dumbbells made entirely out of pool floaties, like “What UP Phyllis let’s DO THIS SHIT!” And Phyllis is like “You best be pacin’ yerself, you NANCY! Eat my dust!” And golly, would she ever be right, because I do not have what you’d call “endurance” when it comes to exercise.

My gym routine is pretty boring- I get in, don’t make eye contact with anyone, do some treadmill sprints, sweat offensively and odorously, and then I hit the steam room with my best gym grandma friend Phyllis. She’s 92, and invited me to her birthday party this weekend. Suggestions on gifts for her are most welcome. I’ve asked myself, “what sort of gift will I want at the age of 92?” And the answer will always be Legos, so that’s what good ol’ Phyllis is getting unless any of you can help me out with a better idea.
Phyllis is sassy- she is crabby and all over the place and a good steam room chat with her will either ruin your entire day or give you a brand new perspective on life. There is no in between. “Why are these towels made for MIDGETS?!” one day and the next she’s saying “Listen you just gotta do the things you are scared to do sometimes. Like gardening. It’s scary weird to plunge your face into cow shit to make veggies grow. But it’s the best way to make veggies grow. And they aren’t going to grow themselves. You gotta plant the seeds into the crap first.” My girl Phyllis is a TRIP, and I take whatever she says to heart because I truly love her.

I remember feeling “scary weird” walking into that first barre class. Good nerves, but also sweaty pits nerves. First group exercise class and first time at the barre, I bravely opened the studio door, my hands clenched full of proverbial seeds ready to be planted into the metaphorical shit garden. Thank you Phyllis for that visual. I made it through the class feeling awesome, invigorated, properly exercised and stretched. Walking outside, the air is fresh, the sky is bright, there may have been birds singing but I recall being distracted by the smell of wafting bacon emanating from Field & Fire so much that I forgot where I parked and was forced into a life of nomadic wandering for at least 15 minutes.

The next morning after that very first class though? Holy cabbage. I opened my eyes and was first inclined to believe I had suffered a mild stroke. Am I….hungover? Did I get hit by a bus? Am I being punished for the crimes of my past lives right now? If so, I must have been a supreme asshole apparently. EVERYTHING HURTS. I’m just going to tell people I got hit by a car, because that’s a lot easier than explaining how I fell UP the stairs because my legs gave out. Walking anywhere at all that morning had me literally singing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” with each step. Belting it at the top of my lungs:

“She TIED YOU TO HER KITCHEN CHAIR SHE BROKE YOUR THRONE and SHE CUT YOUR HAIRRRRRR AND FROM YOUR LIPS SHE DREW the HALLELUJAHHHHHH” I sing this in my head during the intense fire thigh moments of barre when Cori, Kim, MeLisa, or Kelly (and any of the other instructors I have yet to meet) put you in that invisible chair and make you hold it. “It’s like you are water skiing!” No, it is not. It’s like I am Samson, and the instructors are Delilah, and they have taken away my power to LIVE DEAR SWEET SHAKING LEGS! And yet- I keep coming back for more. Why is that? One barre class is all it takes for the seeds to root. You hit the studio, deposit the blood, sweat, and tears into the ground, give it all you’ve got, shaking like the dickens, and leave with a whole new sense of self. The self that puts in the WORK. You reap what you sew. It’s rewarding. It feels so good.

I am honored Cori asked me to document the next 2 months of my barre experience here for you all to read so much. I welcome all encouragement during class towards this 32-year-old tired mother of three who can most easily be identified in studio by the severe amount of shaking limbs during the WARM UP and if that doesn’t give me away then look for the girl with the dry shampoo/dandruff dusted mat. That’s me, your girl Alicia A. Wilkdogg. Throwing up the sign of the cross because she’s sure of her imminent death by blue loop. Heavens to gracious.

#meetmeatthebarre, Alicia Wilkdeezy

Top 10

This is my final blog for BCB. These weekly writings have been fun and therapeutic for me. Thank you Cori for the opportunity.
I’d like to share my top 10 positive things I’ve learned and/or accomplished since starting barre 6 months ago.

1.) planking has reduced/almost eliminated my stomach pouch!!! HELLO ABS!
2.) I finally obtained a perfect score on my Biometric screen at work….you Spectrum Health ladies know what this means.
3.) I consciously no longer over-eat on the days I have barre due to the sheer fear of farting while barre-ing.
4.) I now have a valid excuse to buy all the leggings & stretch pants I want without my husband bitching.
5.) I’ve learned to slow down and move with my breathing. This has applied to my daily living as well.
6.) I no longer have saggy buns, (but still a work in progress).
7.) I am physically stronger! Like, opening a tight pickle jar by myself, stronger.
8.) I got to meet Cori, Kelly and Kim B. (my favorite instructors) although all the gals are top knotch!!
9.) I over-came my fear of joining a ‘Group Exercise’ class. Look out Jane Fonda!
AND 10.) _____________________________________________________________

I left #10 blank. My barre journey is far from over. I can’t wait to celebrate a year at BCB. I can’t wait to see how my body continues to change. I look forward to writing my name on the 100 class pint club. I’m grateful for Beer City Barre. Cori started something special for alot of women, more special than she realized. I feel sexy and girly when I go to barre class.

Thank you to the ladies that teach and the ladies that attend.
Your VIBE attracts your TRIBE!!!
I’ll see you at the barre.
xo, Kara

Breakfast & Barre

Ok ladies. After months of walking out of barre class on a saturday and sunday morning, I finally gave in and enjoyed a proper weekend breakfast next door at Field and Fire. For a while my husband was skeptical if I was really even going to barre class, because ever since Field and Fire opened, I would come home smelling like smokey bacon and toasted bread. (insert Homer Simpson’s salivating donut face)

So, last weekend we enjoyed ourselves a tasty breakfast on saturday AND sunday (yes, twice!) Our community is so small and connected, I ran into Rachel, another barre babe and our cutie patootie instructor, Kelly. I heart Grand Rapids so much! I highly recommend popping into Field and Fire, if for nothing else, get a glass of their FRESH SQUEEZED ORANGE JUICE!!!!

I’m finally back in a regular work-out routine. I made it to barre for Kim’s class on wednesday night. It was a KILLER! Not only were my thighs on fire (and calves and biceps and abs etc.), I also had to deal with a hot flash the entire class hour. In a long sleeve shirt. Stupid me.
It still amazes me that I can attend so many classes, yet there are always new moves and new muscle-sweating routines to keep me coming back for more!!

I hope you all took advantage of Prince night at BCB on Thursday with Kelly. Music on point. Planking on point. The only thing missing was some damn purple rain. Again, another class full of GREAT new moves. Thanks Kelly.

ANNDDD, we have a new barre challenge starting Monday. I do not have a partner yet. I’ll be taking interviews tomorrow, jk/jk. But seriously, I need a partner so hit me up.

Congrats to our first 100 class pint club member, Laura Marcus. This chick goes to Barre M-F at 5:30am. You are amazing and should be so proud of yourself. I’m totally impressed. I don’t think I’d even get up that early if I heard Mark Wahlburg knocking on my door…… ($%&# OF COURSE I WOULD!!!!)

Should I also mention there are new grippy socks for sale in the studio…..
Holy crap, I feel like an annoying psa commercial going on and on. (Except I’m not selling you on a groin stimulating supplement, that would just be weird.)

And as always, I’ll see you at the Barre…
xo, Kara

Hello sunshine my old friend..

Its Friday, February 17. Currently 56 degrees. I went for a walk in a t-shirt today. HOORAY! Oh the perks of global warming. (j/k, j/k) Have you ever noticed how often adults talk about the weather. I mean, when you were a kid, did you ever stop and think, “I can’t wait to become an adult and chat about the local forcast.” (stay young forever children. The future may be bright, but its also filled with a million self-proclaimed meteorologists)

I was recently home sick for a few days. It was the kind of illness that kept me couch-bound, in the dark, with soggy tissues crammed up my nostrils. My eyes were watery, unable to open to watch tv or stalk people on social media. Damn it sucked. I physically did nothing, yet lost 3 pounds. My immune system was in full gear and burned thru whatever I ate (bring on the 50% off valentine candy!!!) Don’t worry, I ate a crap-load of oranges too.

I missed Barre wednesday and thursday night. Totally bummed!! Thursday night was “Date Night,” an opportunity to bring your man-child (yes, they are all children) to show off your mad skillz (and/or) watch him quiver and shake and make fun of him FOREVERRRR. My husband was so relieved. The man can’t touch his toes.

But I really shouldn’t make fun of him. First of all, I love how supportive he is. When I wanted to join BCB, he was ecstatic for me. I am the non-girliest girl that ever girled. This was the girliest thing he’s ever seen me do. I grew up in bare feet, terrorizing the neighborhood on my ten-speed bike. (If I could get away with doing that today, I would.) He always asks me how my class went. He always wants to know if I made any friends. I try to tell him, we don’t sit around and chit chat. But the reality is that ‘I’ don’t chit chat. I’m very quiet. I keep to myself. I haven’t had a close female friend since my girlfriend passed away from stomach cancer 9 years ago. I am guarded, I guess….But at times, relieved. I don’t have to go wine tasting, pure romance partying or get manicures.

I have nothing against beautiful women, I mean HELLO!!!!, have you seen our barre instructors!!! (insert a million heart eye emojis)
We each have a unique story. We are on this earth, navigating and making more trash together (start recycling people).

I’m proud of myself for joining Beer City Barre. It was out of my comfort zone, but something I always wanted to do. I hope my writing encourages you in some way. I also hope my writing doesn’t offend you (my husband thinks I curse too much).

And lastly, I encourage us to say Hey, Hi, Hello to each other, especially me.
And as always, I’ll see you at the barre..

xo, Kara